The one dream i remember....and its weirrd

Had thoughts of maintaining a dream journal to analyse the ones i get...getting a lot these days..and usually they do give me a deja vu situation in the future...documented this one...and sharing it now

As usual, it will be nonsensical at times, like all the dreams i have. Eventually i felt that all the locations seen in the dream are actually correspond to a real location in Bengal. Seems i have seen it earlier in a dream (http://bawali.in/Default.aspx )

I am walking in the society ground in the morning, I have to go to the office. There is this drunk man being helped by his wife and kid. I take the load of the man so that I can help them take him home. Walking, we come to a small temple where we pray and the lady hands over to me her baby (the husband becomes the baby) and then myself with the baby, and the husband(??) are walking towards some place. We are joined by their elder son (or relative but hes a small chubby boy) and we keep walking). I had set off thinkin that I have to make this man reach his home which would be done in time, but now we are set off to some distant location, yet I feel we will make it in time. We walk through a very big bridge that is in good condition but desolate, the time is morning (as per the start) but it looks like evening. Then we come across a sudden elevation in the ground, like a hill made of earth. The man and the boy climb. I realize I have come to some place really far off, so I say I have to get going and I hand over the baby to the man. It begins to rain heavily and I feel bad for the man, donno if they died, but I move and come to a town, where a boy helps me to his really nice place. Never seen the boy but he was kinda handsome. He’s on the fone. I see there is catering services equipment in his place. I see the well furnished living room, which suits a town situation. Suddenly I take his leave and keep walking. Ask someone for way to the ‘place where I came from’ and I am informed there is something called Vijay Bawali (kind of a long narrow path that made perfect sense then) I walk and I see its desolate, but well made in British style. There I encounter something very scary….End of dream.

This one was written on Navami

To honor the promise i made to myself that i will keep this blog updated, sharing a few more thoughts..

Went to Ramakrishna mission for the second Durga Pooja i have ever seen in this life, watched it in more detail and it seriously made me happy. The other thing that usually makes me happy is the delicious Khichdi thats served as a prasad there, but kinda sad to see well fed mumbaikars acting like bhukkad haurats in the queue; foregoing all basic tenets of discipline and civic sense.

ICICI direct waala banda aaya, gave a brief demo of their website, pretty good one in my opinion, bro and dad both liked it a lot. We all were indirectly cursing ICICI while he was here, but its good that he took it in the right spirit.

Now gonna go for a long pending bday treat from my side, good that its a joint one...saali mehengaai hum kanjoos logon ko hairaan karti hai na..:P Hope is rookhi zindagi mein thoda maja le aaya aaj ki shaam.

Theek hai, the brains out so no more words...:)

Confusion

{Heres a poem i wrote around 2 years ago. It describes a state that is a recurring one for me.}

Could you give me the answers I seek?
Answers to all the questions which seem answered
but still not.
A confusion vehemently tearing my being apart
and forcing me to depart
from this sane World of reasoning.

They say keep it simple
and there you will be living a happy life.
But it is just a daily strife
between what needs to be done and what happens,
what we want and what we get,
what is right and what is wrong.
Oh my! The confusion seems so consuming...

Why is it that peace cannot be found
when the whole World resounds
that it is inside?
I don’t know what is outside
Don’t know even if I will have the time to think about
my inside
so filled with filth, and corrupted to the hilt.
I don’t want to see my real self.
I fear sinking more
in the quicksand , my confusion already proves to be.

Is it so difficult for life to be on track?
Is it so impossible for simplicity to be back,
from the recesses of our personalities?

Maybe being simple is the only way
as this is what my heart says
I will listen to it this time
'coz it won’t tell it to me again
'coz it is not the clock which will chime.

The words above fill me with hope.
I see a ray of light
and in that I see His Face
smiling at me
telling
Be yourself
be good
be simple
and do what needs to be done
then...it will be all right.

I know He's true
'coz He’s the only one who can be trusted
and trust needs to exist
else life is just wandering through the mist
without security, without a reason, and without anything worthwhile

I know that i need to write...:)

Such a long time and so much has changed now...the sweetheart has dumped me and i have been thro hell to reach heaven...just that i am closer to it now but not there yet...yet now it feels that i am so far from it...thanks to the realisations i have about my Self and my limitations.

Was feeling really down today...one frnd whom i considered ma best calls a meeting of coll folks and doesnt even inform me...the other due to her crappy ego problems doesnt even talk properly...to hell with the world...the anger i had for these crappy kids was jus blowing and i started hating a lot more...so invented an exercise....close your eyes and think about people you may hate. The aim is to cover all these people. When you realise you do hate them, thrash them in your mind, kick them, punch them...and quickly move on...it really helped...but i guess i need to find a better way since hatred will never do good to me.

Wanted to buy a guitar finally, but couldnt,,,,decided ke will buy off ma bros baby that i have taken more care of than he has....visited Swami Samarth;s math...felt really good...made good pasta and abhi mummy moolee ke paranthe khila rahin hain...

Wrote all this coz Paulo says writing is important and i know that too...i will write more often...:)